Monday, October 07, 2002
Bless my soul, I nearly killed my eldest child today. We had gone to the Park to see if anyone had shown up. No one had.
He asked if he could go to the corner convenience store without me. Mind you, this store is across a VERY BUSY street from the park. Not to mention way out of sight from where I was parked. I told him no, then proceeded to answer a phone call (darn cell phones). Whilst talking with my brother, my darling son asked if he could get the top entitling him to a free Fruitopia out of the trunk. To this I said yes. He construed this as meaning "Sure, get the top, cross the street and go get your Fruitopia".
A few minutes later I finished the call with my brother and another to my husband. In this time I had noted the trunk closing and my son running around. As I looked around the park… no Josh. So I'm telling myself to breathe ... don't panic ... WHERE THE HELL IS MY SON???? Not that many families in the park, he can't have gone far can he? Did he go into the library?.... In my panic I called Tim and kept up a running commentary. I was partially distracted because Joy was blessedly sleeping. Now how do I look effectively for my son without waking my daughter? Damn. So I started driving around. Then it dawns on me.... he may have gone across the street.... So I drive to the entrance of the Library/Park parking lot and lo and behold. Here he comes skipping to the corner, getting ready to cross, waving blithely at me with a huge smile on his face. I get the chance to make the left hand turn onto TV Highway and cross to the convenience store. I park; open the door (probably scowling), tell him to get in in no uncertain terms (and tone) and proceeded to yell at him the whole way home. I vented my fear and anger. I was tempted to give him a sound spanking right then and there, but folks are sensitive about that stuff here in OR, and frankly, I didn’t want some Nosy Nellie calling CPS because I was disciplining my child for disobeying and scaring me half to death. I was scared. He disobeyed a direct "No you may not go to the store alone". I had told him *emphatically* that we would go together as soon as I off the phone. No way did I want him out of my sight AND crossing a busy street.
He cried a little, but accepted it. He's good about "accepting the consequences without complaining" (his words). And he is. He thought he was totally and completely grounded ... and essentially he was for about an hour. Then I lessened it to house arrest. No friends over, no going outside to play with friends. It took 10-15 minutes to get home, so giving him a spanking was kinda pointless, but I tried drilling into his head why it is important for him to actually listen to what I say, not what he wants to hear coming out of my mouth.
We're still working on that. Hopefully, one day, he will have good listening skills when it comes to me.... I hate yelling, but that seems to be the only way he pays attention, even when we are having a conversation!
He asked if he could go to the corner convenience store without me. Mind you, this store is across a VERY BUSY street from the park. Not to mention way out of sight from where I was parked. I told him no, then proceeded to answer a phone call (darn cell phones). Whilst talking with my brother, my darling son asked if he could get the top entitling him to a free Fruitopia out of the trunk. To this I said yes. He construed this as meaning "Sure, get the top, cross the street and go get your Fruitopia".
A few minutes later I finished the call with my brother and another to my husband. In this time I had noted the trunk closing and my son running around. As I looked around the park… no Josh. So I'm telling myself to breathe ... don't panic ... WHERE THE HELL IS MY SON???? Not that many families in the park, he can't have gone far can he? Did he go into the library?.... In my panic I called Tim and kept up a running commentary. I was partially distracted because Joy was blessedly sleeping. Now how do I look effectively for my son without waking my daughter? Damn. So I started driving around. Then it dawns on me.... he may have gone across the street.... So I drive to the entrance of the Library/Park parking lot and lo and behold. Here he comes skipping to the corner, getting ready to cross, waving blithely at me with a huge smile on his face. I get the chance to make the left hand turn onto TV Highway and cross to the convenience store. I park; open the door (probably scowling), tell him to get in in no uncertain terms (and tone) and proceeded to yell at him the whole way home. I vented my fear and anger. I was tempted to give him a sound spanking right then and there, but folks are sensitive about that stuff here in OR, and frankly, I didn’t want some Nosy Nellie calling CPS because I was disciplining my child for disobeying and scaring me half to death. I was scared. He disobeyed a direct "No you may not go to the store alone". I had told him *emphatically* that we would go together as soon as I off the phone. No way did I want him out of my sight AND crossing a busy street.
He cried a little, but accepted it. He's good about "accepting the consequences without complaining" (his words). And he is. He thought he was totally and completely grounded ... and essentially he was for about an hour. Then I lessened it to house arrest. No friends over, no going outside to play with friends. It took 10-15 minutes to get home, so giving him a spanking was kinda pointless, but I tried drilling into his head why it is important for him to actually listen to what I say, not what he wants to hear coming out of my mouth.
We're still working on that. Hopefully, one day, he will have good listening skills when it comes to me.... I hate yelling, but that seems to be the only way he pays attention, even when we are having a conversation!
Tuesday, October 01, 2002
So, I'm not homeschooling this year, but I am volunteering (doing that involved parent thing). Josh's school has an Art Literacy program that I am helping out with. I am discovering that I am NOT artistically inclined. I love art, I am trying to become a decent crocheter, but the last two projects, Drawing and Pottery, have shown conclusively that they are not my calling :)
The kids however, love it. Today I got to help out 2 girls on getting their coil pots done. IMHO pinch pots are MUCH easier! I think we kinda cheated on one, but hey, she was happy with the result and the last two layers *were* colied :)
During the class Josh asked me for the umpteenth time if I was going to volunteer in his class (this is in addition to Art Lit.). Part of me was pleased as punch that he wants me involved so much in his schooling. I guess it's the next best thing to homeschooling (ok, so I need validation as a parent). He even went so far as to ask his teacher again and then make me ask her what she needed and when did she need me. So I will be helping out Thursdays with reading. She needs a math helper too, I might do that, but reading with the kids is something I can do with Joy on my hip quite easily :)
The best thing for me, on reflection, is that I *want* to do this. I don't feel obligated in the least. Well, I do feel nosy and concerned, but now I can't complain if the school does fail him. I was right there with him and didn't do anything if that does turn out to be the case (Lord, I hope not!).
The kids however, love it. Today I got to help out 2 girls on getting their coil pots done. IMHO pinch pots are MUCH easier! I think we kinda cheated on one, but hey, she was happy with the result and the last two layers *were* colied :)
During the class Josh asked me for the umpteenth time if I was going to volunteer in his class (this is in addition to Art Lit.). Part of me was pleased as punch that he wants me involved so much in his schooling. I guess it's the next best thing to homeschooling (ok, so I need validation as a parent). He even went so far as to ask his teacher again and then make me ask her what she needed and when did she need me. So I will be helping out Thursdays with reading. She needs a math helper too, I might do that, but reading with the kids is something I can do with Joy on my hip quite easily :)
The best thing for me, on reflection, is that I *want* to do this. I don't feel obligated in the least. Well, I do feel nosy and concerned, but now I can't complain if the school does fail him. I was right there with him and didn't do anything if that does turn out to be the case (Lord, I hope not!).
