Wednesday, August 27, 2003
Do you ever have days when you just want to haul off and knock your kid's head off? Watch it go down the stairs as their eyes stare back at you in wonder and amazement? And then you see the dawning realization "I guess she meant what she said. I should have done what she told me. Man, now I know not to get on mom's bad side."
I do. THough when asked this question by another parent, I stated that I would IF I knew that I could put it back on. Use it like the shock factor of getting a spanking. THis other parent reminded me of Jeeves in Men In Black. That is EXACTLY what I wish we could do. It hurts enough to let your child KNOW that you mean business, but no real harm is done.
I think I have committed the parenting crime of being too lenient with my son and I am now paying the price for it. Either that, or he's hitting puberty early. His most common phrases are "Sorry" in a most not-sorry tone of voice. Like he knows he should apologize, but doesn't mean it. And "OK, whatever." My two most common phrases with him lately are "NOT sorry. Now get done [whatever it is]". Meaning -- I don't believe that you are sorry, nothing in your attitude or tone of voice even HINTS that you are sorry. I've told him what I mean by "NOT sorry". Has he changed? Does he do what I ask or try to fix what he has made happen? Rarely. And only with monumental nagging. Which I hate to do because it gets me in a foul temper. And boy! you don't want to be around me when I am in a foul temper! Not even my husband wants to be around me, unless he comes bearing a peace offering of chocolate and a promise to "talk to the boy." Which he does. and it sinks in for a few days......
Agh, giving myself back and neck pain over this child! It physically hurts me the restraint that I do use.
Anyone want to take him? Friends and relatives relate that he is a well-behaved, mannered, intelligent, charming child to be around. I just wish he would be that way around me.
So ... as punishment for his misdeeds, he got spanked for slamming the door, on purpose. THis all came about because he looked up repent, didn't understand the word remorse, so I told him to look THAT up. He wanted to know how to spell it. I started to tell him to sound it out while my sister started spelling it for him. He wasn't 5 feet away and just in front of his napping sister's room when he YELLED "WHAT MOM!!!????", practically at the top of his lungs. So I got him for that, and then he went into his room and slammed the door. I gave both of us a few minutes and then went in and sternly, fairly calmly, and in my no-nonsense voice (the one where if you open your mouth I'll cut you off so fast you won't know what hit you voice) told him what needed to be done and why he was in trouble. I had to tell him 2.5 times (don't ask) before he got it. And I almost knocked his head off AGAIN for repeatedly saying "whatever, OK, whatever".
My sister was watching and listening in the doorway and mentioned that I was sounding more and more like our mother. So then, involuntarily, I looked over the top of my glasses right at her, and said " Now is NOT a good time." I sounded like my mother to me! And I know the glasses bit came right from her. It was very hard to not start laughing.
Well, Josh seems to be over it. He's written his definitions, the tears are flowing and he's emotionally wrung out. He's also ruined our whole afternoon (we were going to go to the zoo, just as soon as he put his clothes away. He took 1.5 hours to do that particular task) and then the attitude started.
What an afternoon. Oi vey! ai-ya! I'm going to kill his father one of these days. Just on principle for giving me such a hard kid!
I do. THough when asked this question by another parent, I stated that I would IF I knew that I could put it back on. Use it like the shock factor of getting a spanking. THis other parent reminded me of Jeeves in Men In Black. That is EXACTLY what I wish we could do. It hurts enough to let your child KNOW that you mean business, but no real harm is done.
I think I have committed the parenting crime of being too lenient with my son and I am now paying the price for it. Either that, or he's hitting puberty early. His most common phrases are "Sorry" in a most not-sorry tone of voice. Like he knows he should apologize, but doesn't mean it. And "OK, whatever." My two most common phrases with him lately are "NOT sorry. Now get done [whatever it is]". Meaning -- I don't believe that you are sorry, nothing in your attitude or tone of voice even HINTS that you are sorry. I've told him what I mean by "NOT sorry". Has he changed? Does he do what I ask or try to fix what he has made happen? Rarely. And only with monumental nagging. Which I hate to do because it gets me in a foul temper. And boy! you don't want to be around me when I am in a foul temper! Not even my husband wants to be around me, unless he comes bearing a peace offering of chocolate and a promise to "talk to the boy." Which he does. and it sinks in for a few days......
Agh, giving myself back and neck pain over this child! It physically hurts me the restraint that I do use.
Anyone want to take him? Friends and relatives relate that he is a well-behaved, mannered, intelligent, charming child to be around. I just wish he would be that way around me.
So ... as punishment for his misdeeds, he got spanked for slamming the door, on purpose. THis all came about because he looked up repent, didn't understand the word remorse, so I told him to look THAT up. He wanted to know how to spell it. I started to tell him to sound it out while my sister started spelling it for him. He wasn't 5 feet away and just in front of his napping sister's room when he YELLED "WHAT MOM!!!????", practically at the top of his lungs. So I got him for that, and then he went into his room and slammed the door. I gave both of us a few minutes and then went in and sternly, fairly calmly, and in my no-nonsense voice (the one where if you open your mouth I'll cut you off so fast you won't know what hit you voice) told him what needed to be done and why he was in trouble. I had to tell him 2.5 times (don't ask) before he got it. And I almost knocked his head off AGAIN for repeatedly saying "whatever, OK, whatever".
My sister was watching and listening in the doorway and mentioned that I was sounding more and more like our mother. So then, involuntarily, I looked over the top of my glasses right at her, and said " Now is NOT a good time." I sounded like my mother to me! And I know the glasses bit came right from her. It was very hard to not start laughing.
Well, Josh seems to be over it. He's written his definitions, the tears are flowing and he's emotionally wrung out. He's also ruined our whole afternoon (we were going to go to the zoo, just as soon as he put his clothes away. He took 1.5 hours to do that particular task) and then the attitude started.
What an afternoon. Oi vey! ai-ya! I'm going to kill his father one of these days. Just on principle for giving me such a hard kid!
